Child's Play 2 1990

Dir: John Lafia
St: Brad Dourif;  Alex Vincent;  Christine Elise; Jenny Agutter

At the end of the first film Chucky, the evil killer doll, was somewhat...charred. As the sequel opens we see the doll being refurbished.  Apparently the toy company wants to find the cause of the reported 'malfunction'.

The first death happens almost immediately and tells us what sort of film we can expect. It's ridiculous and cartoonish with no sense of horror whatsoever. I doubt anyone over the age of 12 would even blink. But it does signify that Chucky is back.

His little friend Andy Barclay is in foster care after his mum was sectioned for raving about a killer doll. Now Chucky needs to track him down to avoid being trapped in his plastic form forever. He escapes the factory when a toy exec throws him in the boot of his car. He repeatedly slams the door on the doll's head and we think 'uh oh,he's not going to like that!'.

There is no mystery in this film. Chucky is facially and physically mobile from the start and wise cracking all the way. Unfortunately this means the film is less scary than the first and lacks suspense in the beginning but tension is still created by Chucky's relentless stalking.

Andy (still cute) is staying with a sweet little family who have no idea what they are getting into when they take Andy into their home. Chucky quickly manages to infiltrate the house by taking the place of another Good Guy doll (is there a word for doll murder? Plasticide perhaps?).

Of course Andy's foster parents don't heed his warnings about Chucky and they both meet a nasty end. There are a couple of nice hints early in the film to potential grisly murder weapons. One is a brutal looking machine in the toy factory and the other is an old fashioned sewing machine which we fear could be used to horrible effect.

People seem to die in really schlocky ways, with bug eyes and mouths agape - neither scary nor gruesome. In parts the film actually seems more parody than sequel. Still I cannot deny how messed up Chucky can look. His expression is feral, brutal and inhuman.An actors face can only move in certain ways but with a doll the features can be distorted to monstrous proportions.

Andy's foster sister, Kyle, doesn't seem too phased by a knife wielding devil-doll and I had to wonder if she was a sassy precursor to Sydney Prescott five years later?  When Chucky eventually catches up to Andy it's Kyle to the rescue. Very improbably the final players end up at the toy factory. We get another little nod to Kubrick here as Kyle and Andy are pursued through a maze of boxes.

I must admit that the escape scene in the toy factory is fairly nerve jangling,  with Chucky's grotesquely determined face and his hellish screams when he tries to free his trapped hand from a machine.

In fact the closing scenes of this film are amongst my favourite in all horror movies and I'm not going to spoil it by saying more... Ok let me just say that there is gore, tension and some full on scary nastiness. Chucky's curtain call is spectacularly gruesome, almost barf worthy.  Let's face it,  there are things you can do to plastic that you csnnot do ti flesh. And a hybrid of the two is just gross.

As with the first film, suspend disbelief,  munch your popcorn and have a laugh. It's not a masterpiece but its watchable and the ending merits 6/10.

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare (aka The Edge of Hell) 1987

Starring: Jon-Mikl Thor
Director: John Fasano

I had another movie in mind for the last of 80s week but then I stumbled across this title. How could I not be intrigued?

This Canadian film is purported to have been filmed in a week on a shoestring budget and I can believe it.  Jon-Mikl Thor, the wrestler-esque star, also wrote the screenplay and score as well as co-producing.

The story follows him and his band 'The Tritonz' as they go to a secluded farmhouse to hang out for a few weeks and work on their album (the barn has been converted into recording studio you see). Along with the band are their WAGs and all expect to have a rockin good time. What they don't know is that the house has a dark past and it's not long before they are beseiged by all manner of nasties.

2 minutes into the film I know I'm in for a complete shite fest when a gooey skeleton pops unconvincingly out of the oven. This is followed by a full FOUR MINUTES of shots of Thor driving his van listening to terrible music. I'm ready to turn it off.

The camera work is erratic,  the incidental music is grating and though there are two extended sex scenes in the movie one was boring and the other one made me vomit in my mouth.

But hang in there it gets better.

I warmed up a little to the cheesy 80s metal band and this kept me watching a little longer. Then there are the monsters. The first one we see after the terrifying skeleton looks a lot like Tarka Dal of the Vindaloovian Empire*. Despite the unscary puppet monsters I couldn't help but notice that the film oozes enthusiasm and everyone seems to be having fun.

I'll admit it. The crap film started to grow on me. We've got demonic possession, a scary kid, squidgy monsters, big hair, glam rock, flesh eating and bad sex but nothing can compare to what comes next.

The ending. WTF?!

I don't do spoilers so I can only say - prepare to witness the most epic battle between good and evil the world has ever seen. The ending is so unexpected and so insane that this film went from terrible to fantastic in an instant. I had tears of laughter streaming down my face!

I have no fair way to score this movie. It defies rationalisation.  The first hour deserves a 3/10 but the ending is off the charts.  On balance I'm giving it 5/10 because although you must watch it you do have sit through a lot of garbage to get the good stuff.

*Red Dwarf Season 6, Episode 3

Sleepaway camp 1983

Starring: Felissa Rose
Directed (and written) by: Robert Hiltzik

This movie is known to me as having one of the most scandalous endings in horror movie history - at least for its time. The premise is that a very shy girl named Angela goes to summer camp for the first time with her cousin.

Angela is a sweet faced thing who rarely speaks; probably on account of the traumatic loss of her family as a child. She gradually begins to open up at camp, despite the bullying and nasty attitudes she recieves from the camp bitches. Then in the tradition of slasher movies people begin to die.

So what did I think? Well for the first 10 minutes I laughed my ass off. Not because it's intentionally funny but because it's bad. An unfortunate accident on the water is dramatised by repeatedly screaming "A boat! A boat!! Oh GOD the BOAT!!!" then the camera cuts ineptly to a body bobbing face down in the water.

We are then swept 8 years into the future where the sole survivor of the accident (Angela) is being talked at by her peculiar aunt. There is no explanation for the aunt's odd behaviour or manner of speech and I still can't decide if she is supposed to be comical, but I actually think she is my favourite part of the movie.

The acting throughout is dreadful. Truly I have seen more compelling performances in a Year 7 production of Grease. I realise that stalker movies are not well known for character development but this film is inhabited by paper thin stereotypes who over react to everything without reason.

I was particularly disturbed by the portrayal of an obvious paedophile who leers over the teenage campers. His vile innuendos are met with laughter from his friends as though he made a slightly cheeky joke. Thankfully it is not long until he gets his just desserts. And it is unpleasant. The screams go on for an uncomfortably long time.

The story goes on as you might expect. Lovely Angela grows in confidence and even finds a little romance. Meanwhile campers begin to die in various ways. The film attempts to divert suspicion in different directions but it is so poorly done it tends to have the opposite effect.

Personally I didn't feel suspense or shock during the film and it was a struggle to sit through it. Whether it was the poor performances, the pacing or the terrible direction, I just didn't care what happened next.

The ending is pretty freaky I must admit. It leaves an image burned on the retinas. However, after the final scene had faded I felt unsatisfied. There was no conclusion just a "ta da!" and then curtain dropped.

Overall it is a bad bad movie with 10 seconds of awesome at the end. I wouldn't watch the film again under any circumstances. For the unique finale alone I give it 4/10.